You make me think and I like that

She cuddles in my lap, not as small as she once was. I love the feel of her warmth and the  soft breathing that means she's asleep.  I know you aren't suppose to have a favorite, but she is mine. She puts her head on feet when I get ready and she gets mad when I leave the room. The little one hid under the chair everytime David and I fought and looked for me when she thought it was over.  She kissed my face when I was coated in salty tears and barks at me if I dare to stop scratching her tummy before she's ready for me to stop. She has more compassion and empathy than I ever thought possible.

The things we don't regret

Almost home. It only took me 12 hours of travel. One of my flights got cancelled. I honestly only want to go home for my pups, I miss them. I had a blast at the sales meeting, hard core r&d and sales bonding. I may have had the best nights after the corporate Christmas party. Highlights: my boss rocking an 'I ❤️ Intercourse (Pennsylvania)' shirt while bar hopping. Yes I did stupid things, even now I cringe at the thought of dancing with one of the 50 something sales guys while he called me hot. Mind you I won't dance unless I'm drunk to begin with. I know better usually.  

Our company president was raving at all our work and I for once forgot about David. 

And this is Kate, she may be my favorite food scientist counterpart, we always have fun together. 

I'm still here, short updates

So there's lots of chaos in my life, I know everyone has problems. However, I think I have come to expect it; and that isn't a good place to be.

I'm still at my job, but they fought hard to keep me and for that I am appreciative and now well compensated. My former work BFF has been on my mind today after a vivid dream like I haven't had in years. I woke up and couldn't get it out of my mind. You see we haven't spoken in months, probably 6 months. He met a girl, she got pregnant, he no longer talks to ANY of his friends. So I had written him off. Let others make their choices. But friends sometimes are hard to let go of, not for any other reason than at one point he was very close to me. I cried on his shoulder and debated the world with him. Few people look so deeply at my thoughts as Josh did. And I miss that in my life.

Since I have become very close to a newer person at work and the whole environment in management has become a more nutruting place. 

My love life is a disaster at its best. But I have been trying to live my life without anyone else.

I started doing dance classes, my favorite to date is aerial silks, straight up cirque du soleil stuff. I recommend it to anyone. Look for classes because it's like flying, well I'm new to it so it's kinda like playing in a fabric tire swing.

I leave for Pennsylvania tomorrow and well I do like being free to travel. 

I hope you all are well.

Speak ever so softly

Entangled in him

I want to stay here forever. 

Lost in our laughs, we escape reality of the harshness of life. 

Here in this moment we lie to ourselves for a bit longer, 

But what a wonderfully warm lie to devote my prayers too. 

What terribly sweet lyrics your songs creates, songs not devoted to our heartbreak. 

I can feel your whispers still across my skin; as if playing with my hair and tickling my fanciful mind. 

The rush of promise I've been screaming to find. 

Words with power

I've been spending a lot of time with books; submersed in the written goodness of happy endings and fairy tale stories. Sometimes it's nice to just read and forget the world, I think it's the approaching fall, this time of year just leaves me wanting warm soup, books and blankets. I'm a bookworm by heart, well it's in the top 5, with cooking, sleeping, movie watching, and driving. All the things that are effortless to me. 

My father use to say that life would pass me by, that I was escaping reality; I just think I love stories with new ideas to grasp on to. 

I've been absent from here, and on occasion it's nice and healthy to step away. However I've missed it, and I could recap my life change, but let's just say I'm different in a good way. I hope you all are well out there who are listening. 

The world keeps spinning

What is wrong with this world?! I have been trying to stay away from angry posts but I'm so exhausted I don't care. I sent a text to a friend I hadn't talked to in three months. His name came up today and well I wondered how he was. So my text said, "hey stranger?" I got an angry text back from his pregnant fiancée. Saying well... Get lost.... Ok so I try to curb her anger, explaining myself, how i know him, I mean no harm, congratulations, I wish you the best of luck. I get back...., never contact him again, F off basically." So I sent, I understand and left it there. This isn't the first time disgruntled girls have sent me texts, calls whatever... It's not the second.... Heck it's not the third.... 

I lose more friends to angry girls or friends that hit on me. Now clearly this girl doesn't know me from plain Jane.... At least I don't know how she would. So are all girls like this? If not what am I doing to cause this? I'm actually pretty hurt that this girl would feel so threatened or hate me for no reason. 

On a happy note. I ran my 10k and I jumped off a 50 ft cliff I feel good about being old if I can still feel so young. 

Dirty Thirty

Thursdays my birthday. I'm not enthusiastic at all. Today I went cliff diving, got a job offer from another company which would ensure a large salary increase, but a difficult next few months, can't say for sure if I will take it. Tomorrow I head home. Work hard. Play hard. Work harder. 

Friday, I join some friends and head to Disneyland to celebrate. I'm taking David and the furry kids.... Here's to trying to feel as young as I look...

And act. 

From last night, a friend took us to Mauna Kea. Very high, cold, and lovely. You can see we were above the clouds. 

If you didn't already know, Hawaii is my personal haven. If I ever run away from life, I'm heading here. Vacation pictures.

Gromit? Pedro? still unnamed....

Hello,

My name is Sara and I have a problem. 

We got another puppy! I know I know, I draw the line at three dogs. Considering my oldest is seven and my puppy just turned two, now isn't a bad time to raise another fuzzy. 

We haven't figured out a name yet, but he likes to climb, and looks like a bear. 

Let's hope this one isn't a crazy spaz or destroyer of things. *crosses fingers* 

Stories, our stories

We lay face to face, cuddled close, my hand on his chest. It felt like his heart was racing. I couldn't tell you if it was wishful thinking, or my heart racing was what I felt, OR maybe the combination of our two very relaxed heartbeats. So I put my cheek to his chest as if listening intently. And then it seems I fell asleep, lying in the warmth of his arms trying intently to hear his heartbeat. Maybe it really was both of our hearts. The optimist is winning this war.

 

Idyllic town

The summer is waning as August fast approaches. The neighbors are coming out to play at night, it seems temperatures are more conducive now. The children laugh, chase, and ride their bikes up and down the street, as if the setting of the sun was calling them out. Summertime hours for the young at heart. 

The house across the street lays vacant, with a for rent sign encouraging new life. All life has ebbs and flows and new beginnings, I would like to imagine the new occupants are a newly married couple just starting out together, excited about the possibilities. With plans to string Christmas lights and munchkins on the way. More kids to frolic with the tiny girls that live next door. 

Listless nights

You try to change them, bury them in your thoughts and hopes. 

Your wishes out weigh their dreams and you cover them with all the lies you can muster. Keep them in their place you say. 

Women are beautiful in their lips that speak the truth, their hips that sing in movements.